For those of you who have been following my journey, I shared back in January how I made the decision to leave my corporate job to spend more time focusing on my family. As I reflect on the last few months, I have been challenged, and I have been blessed. I had a vision in my mind of what I thought a stay at home mommy would be. I pictured a cleaner more organized home, craft time with little J., homemade meals, unstructured time, and less stress. I wanted to share with you a bit of my heart as I have learned a ton about myself and God’s grace, the good moments and the difficult moments as I’ve transitioned to staying home.
The difficult moments:
Staying at home raising little ones is exhausting. It is non-stop, 24 hour, 7 day a week job. It can be hectic and chaotic, just as it can be lonely. There are some days when I feel like I barely had a minute to myself, yet I couldn’t tell you what I accomplished. My home is always a cleaning-in-process and some hours feel like I am on automatic repeat between picking up crumbs off the floor and tossing toys back in the playroom. There are days when it is Mommy vs. toddler and Little J wins. I have to take a deep breath and step away for a moment.
I am being just as challenged as I was working my corporate job but the challenges are different. I have realized that I am not patient, I let frustration get the best of me at times and I can be selfish. I have learned that I need grace, forgiveness, and gentle reminders to help me through my difficult days as well as strength and courage.
The good moments:
I have loved being able to spend so much time getting to know and learn about Little J’s personality. I have loved getting to put him down for naps each day, to sit and read him a story, or splash in his little pool in the backyard. I have loved the flexibility of my days and the opportunity to join a morning bible study. I have been amazed at the words of comfort God has provided me. Messages and words that have always been there, but I was too distant to notice. I love that I get to mold little J each and every day, I get to teach him, I get to train him; I get to share God’s love with him.
When making the decision to stay at home it was mainly focused on Little J. The benefits it would provide him. I knew it would be a big change for the hubby and me as well. God has used this situation to teach me an important lesson: trust in Him. He will provide. He will comfort.
I just finished my last day of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and will share more about what I learned from studying Numbers and Deuteronomy in a later post, but what I will share now is how grateful and humbled I am that God provided such relevance through these two books to my situation. What a blessing! More to come soon…